its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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