Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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