Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
