Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
