okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
