girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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