Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
