He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
