its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
