I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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