I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
