At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
