Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
