While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
