best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
