there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
if i can run in heels then i can drive
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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