he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
