dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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