Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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