i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
