And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
