i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
