You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
