He asked to "fluff my boner.."
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
