She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Drake has all the answers
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
