I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
