some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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