I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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