Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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