I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
