This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
