I want to stick my p in your. b.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
