would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
