apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
