Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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