people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
