Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
