FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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