youre lurking in front of me
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
