btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
