It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He keeps bees of course he's weird
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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