Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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