My nipple is on Facebook.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
