His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
