Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
