brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
