How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
