before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
