He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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