I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
